Disappointment

Tomorrow, I will write all about the positive side of love, but today I'm going to write about the negative. By "love," I don't just mean romantic love. I mean all love. Love for a family member, love for a dear friend, or romantic love. Love is so powerful. It can make us feel whole, complete, and filled to the brim with happiness. It can also leave us utterly destroyed and devastated. And then, of course, there's the divine love of Jesus Christ that can heal us from that devastation. So love really is a roller coaster, up and down through our whole lives. Here are some ways love can hurt:

• A loved one dies. This one is guaranteed to happen to everyone at some point in their lives. The more we love a person, the more it hurts when they're no longer with us.
• A loved one experiences pain. This can be painful to watch, especially when there is nothing we can do to alleviate that pain.
• A loved one disappoints us. We all set expectations for those we love, whether we realize it or not, and those expectations can be dashed to bits sometimes. This damage can be repaired, but it's hard.
• We realize someone we love or care about does not feel the same way. This is the case in divorces and other romantic relationship break-ups. However, this can also happen with friendships.

I want to write a little bit about the last two points. I've lost many dear friends over the years due to these two points. Many times, I was the one disappointing the ones who cared about me. Sometimes, we shared the blame, and other times, I was completely disappointed by another's carelessness. Even when I realize that it was me to blame, most of the time it is too late for me to make amends to repair the friendship. Sometimes this regret gnaws at my heart. What if I had acted differently? Could I still count those people among my dear friends? Of course, regret does nothing but bring us down, so I try to forgive myself and others and move on.

As for the last point, I've been the victim of this several times, and I'm sure I've probably done this to others at one time or another. This happens when you really care about someone, whether romantically or just as a dear friend. You think they feel the same, so you invest a lot in your relationship, only to find out that you don't mean nearly as much to them as you thought. Of course this has happened in the past with romantic relationships, but I am glad for those, otherwise I might not be married to Jeff today. But I've had it happen with friends, too. It's hard to accept when you find out that someone you consider a good friend thinks of you as little more than an acquaintance. I guess you just have to mourn for the loss of that friendship and move forward.

Anyway, I know these thoughts are really disjointed, and there's really no point to this post. This is just something that's been on my mind lately.

Tomorrow, seeing as how it's Valentine's Day, I will write down some happy, positive thoughts on love :)