Friday, April 24, 2015

Letting Go of Regret

My anxious mind likes to remind me often of things that I regret. Things that I've done, things that I've said, and even things that I failed to do. I've struggled with these regrets for a while now. They swirl around in my mind, making me feel unworthy of respect, love, and grace.
About a year ago, I realized that this is completely unhealthy, so I started on a path of letting go of my regrets. It wasn't easy, but I can now see how my regrets are melting away, freeing me from their tyranny.
First, I tackled the regrets that I could still change. I thought about each of them, and asked myself if there was something I could do right now, today to erase that regret and replace it with accomplishment and joy. For some things, it was absolutely possible for me to work hard and erase that regret, and so I did. That was step one.
The next step was a little harder. There were some things from my past that I regretted that I could do nothing to remedy. Those things had happened, and nothing I could do could change it. I want to "fix" them, but I can't. That's where I let the Grace of God and the Atonement of Jesus Christ take over. I prayed fervently and daily for the strength and clarity to be able to move on from those mistakes. And it worked. It worked slowly, but it worked.
What has helped me immensely is constantly reminding myself that I cannot change the past, but that dwelling on it will only cause me to miss out on my present and my future. I've made mistakes. So have we all. But that does not define who I am. Accepting myself, flaws and all, while trying to improve, has helped me to leave my mistakes where they belong: in the past.
This same principle has also helped me to forgive several people for whom I've held a grudge for a long time. They made mistakes, just as I did, and it's okay. How can I expect to be forgiven of my flawed nature if I don't offer the same courtesy to others?

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