Sacrifice, Service, and Lasting Love

Yesterday,  I read an article in which they interviewed a celebrity who recently got divorced. I'm not going to give the celebrity's name, because I frankly don't want to shine any more attention on her. But something she said really disturbed me. She commented how she believes that nothing lasts forever, and it's not possible to love one person forever. She stated that staying married for a long time requires sacrifice, and she'd rather be "happy."

I don't think I could possibly disagree more with that entire statement. She seems to me to have a very selfish and juvenile view of love and happiness and how those two things intertwine. Before I go any further, I have a disclaimer to make: I realize that, in some situations, divorce is the right option. I am not disputing that. I am simply disputing the statement above, that a long, happy marriage is impossible, because sacrifice makes you unhappy.

In my experience, the exact opposite is true. It is only through sacrifice and service that you can be truly, deeply joyful and happy. Yes, selfishness gives some measure of happiness, but that happiness is shallow and fleeting. Deep, abiding love and happiness come from giving of yourself to another. This applies to every kind of love and every kind of relationship: friends, spouses, parent-child, etc. To truly love someone, you must serve them.

I am not a parent, so I recognize that I cannot fully comprehend the love parents have for their children. However, I strongly believe that the main reason parents love their children so deeply is because of the sacrifices they make for them. For 18+ years, parents sacrifice many things for their children, including:

• Time
• Sleep
• Pride/Dignity (like when your kid pukes on you in a public place)
• Money
• Peace of Mind (like when your teenager stays out way past curfew, and you worry sick over it)
• For biological mothers: Physical appearance and well-being (puking for months on end, swollen ankles, stretch marks, etc.)

I'm sure the majority of parents would say that they are more than happy to make these sacrifices for their children, because they love them. And the sacrifices cause them to love their children more, and thus the cycle continues.

The only person to ever live on the earth who loved each of us perfectly is the one person who sacrificed the most for us: Jesus Christ. He laid down his very life for us.

Jeff and I have only been married for about 3 years, but I already have come to learn a few things about true love. That initial "puppy love" feeling fades over time, but it's up to us to determine if it will be replaced by boredom or by a deeper, more abiding love. That deep and abiding love only comes from sacrifice and service. If both partners in a marriage are willing to put the other's needs before their own, their love will last into eternity. Love is a verb, and true love brings the greatest joy in this life, and in the next.

Gordon B. Hinckley, a former president and prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, said:

"The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served."